One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.

The Bluebonnet is the official song of the state flower.

It is illegal to sell one's eye.

A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Abilene:
It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

Austin:
Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Beaumont:
Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

Broger:
It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

Clarendon:
It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

Dallas:
It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.

El Paso:
Urinating on the streets is illegal.

Appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited.