Next week I will be playing 'real live' poker for the first time. (I dont count my 25c/50c games at Artichokes & Bird Farm as 'real' when I was only after the chips).

Murph didnt discuss tournament toking in this post, so I chose to answer here as I doubt I will be winning any money in tournaments

"If you receive "good" service in a restaurant, do you tip your server 2%?"
Maybe not the best example. I feel that service has to be 'better than good' to deserve a tip. Tipping on top of a service you have already paid for is not the same as tipping a poker dealer. That said, most restaurant service warrants a tip and 8 to 10% is probably the norm. But, for an average of 4 people eating, thats 2% each

"If your barber charges $15 for a haircut"
Give us his address, we will take care of him for you

"I once had a player ask me to chop a $1 chip so that he could tip the waitress 50 cents for bringing him a bottle of water"
I have a different point of view on this one. IMO a 50c tip would be more of an insult than no tip at all. The player concerned deserved a slap from the waitress

In the UK, tipping at a table is illegal. You may tip a waitress, barman, doorman etc. but all those tips are pooled and shared EQUALLY between all employees.

I resent the 'expected' tipping at gaming tables in France. Win at roulette and you are 'EXPECTED' to tip one chip per 17 one (ie a split). If you won 175 chips they would expect TEN. If you dont get it right they will remind you constantly. After a couple of hours play in which you should have been $500 up, dont be surprised to see you are $200 down as you tipped $700 in the same time.

Now, I will probably get $hit all over for this last comment.
Talking about non-tourny poker, IMO, rather than tipping each time you win a pot, you should tip when youve finished playing. Stops the dealers getting complacent You dont tip your restaurant server after each course do you? You might want it back when you see the next one
Either that or if I tip Murph for dealing 'good' cards and he follows that by 20 bad hands I should be able to ask for my tip back

Seriously, how much do you expect to get tipped, by pot size, in regular play?