I came home tonight to a package on my front porch. No return address, only a Las Vegas postmark and the cryptic incantation, "Do not open 'till Christmas." Well, I'm not normally a suspicious person, but with all the computer viruses going around, I'm well aware there are malicious people in the world, and I'm sure my outspoken nature has done nothing to endear me to many people in Vegas. The box was obviously too large and too light to be casino chips. Knowing Kokopuff has a keen sense of smell, I let him outside to inspect the parcel. He sniffed it and pee'd on it, then wouldn't go near it again. I've got to tell you, I was seeing heavy shades of Ted Kaczynski here, so I called the police. They sent the bomb squad, who set up a large barrel in the middle of my culdesac. They used a robot to very carefully pick up the package and deposit it in the barrel, where they detonated it.

I'm happy to report I'm safe and there was no damage to my house or my dog. So, whoever you are that thought it would be fun to send me a mail bomb, I scoff at your feeble efforts! The FBI will be investigating the debris in an effort to track it back to it's source, so you'd better watch out!!!