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grin NCR ~ Tuesday Humor, March 21st

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Dragnet, a most perspicacious gentleman who lives a bit southwest,
sent this one. I think you'll agree that there's a strong possibility
some of these people have probably been seen in those strange
WalMart shopper pictures...

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A guy bought a new refrigerator for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front yard
and hung a Sign on it saying:
Free to good home. You want it, you take it.

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.

So he changed the sign to read:
Fridge for sale $50.

The next day someone stole it!

They walk among us!

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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when
someone shouted: "Look at that dead bird!"

Someone looked up at the sky and said: "Where?"

They walk among us!

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning.

She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for
some time.

She shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff"

They Walk Among Us!

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her
weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said she didn't think she'd get
sunburned because the car was moving.

They Walk Among Us!

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut
through a seat belt, if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went
to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she
was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. '

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!

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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go.

He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said "Just cut it into 4
pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

They Walk Among Us!

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A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit,
even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure,
he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even
more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove
even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera
again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did
this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed
as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without
a seat belt!

They walk among us!

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And last, but not least: Dumb as a box of Rocks

TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function
where Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the US House of Representatives)
happened to appear.

Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit
and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a
mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which
anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that
puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?" asked Pelosi.

"Well, you might ask, Captain Cook made three trips around the
world and died during one of them. Which one?
''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh,
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must
confess I don't know much about history."

Sadly, they walk among us! And, MORE sadly, many hold high offices!

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Copyright 2015 David Spragg