I told the doctor I thought I had a parasite.

The doctor does his examination and gives me the prognosis:

You have the extreme "Last Line Parasite"
Don't worry it's harmless, but very irritating as you know.
There is no cure, it will not submit to any Rx.
This parasite will be the king of attention and will burrow itself to the end of everything.
Plain and simple your stuck with it

Good News ... you will survive and I will feel sorry for you.