God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best.

God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

"Not bad." said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and when my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he made love to me right then and there.”

"They don't like that in heaven,” said God.

The woman replied: "They're not too happy about it in Costco either!

No Offense to Women, God, Warehouse Stores or Anyone Else