(part One) The Department that regulates them.

I needed to get my Handicap Parking Card renewed, decided to go for the License Plates instead, but that Requires a trip to the DMV with a folder full of paperwork. Here in Las Vegas, the DMV's reputation for glacial "service" is legendary. No Problem: Now you can get an appointment. Friends told me I'd be in and out in 10 minutes instead of 3 to 4 hours.

Fine.

I had problems getting the old plates off of the truck and got to the counter 4 (FOUR) minutes late for check-in.

"Sorry sir, you're late and the appointment is cancelled."

"I'm 4 minutes late! Whadda ya mean the appointment is cancelled?

"The computer system automatically cancels the appointment in the system as soon as you are even a minute late. There's nothing I can do. But seeing as you are handicapped, I can put you in the handicap queue, there's only 5 people ahead of you."

An hour later the clerk that denied my appointment comes by where I'm sitting. "Why are you still here?
[Danged if I know] I'll go check for you" Comes back 5 minutes later. "Good news,you're second in line, they should be calling you in just a minute."

Who in the Free Union of Celtic Knights decided it'd be good policy to program the computer to cancel an appointment if the person is not there on the dot? 30 minutes, Yes; 15, well, ok, maybe. 10, 9, 8... You can lead burro-crats (morons all) to technology, but you can't make them drink.

Part 2 of Mortorized Vehicles.

I've been looking to get a Mobility Scooter. Been hunting them on line for a month now, learning all I can about the beasts. Had my choice narrowed down to a couple of them, and was about to go exploring the Medicare Labyrinth, to get one. Mom reads the paper everyday, all of it, and found an ad for a scooter. Turned out to be the second choice model on my list, priced at less than 1/3rd of a new one. The heck with Medicare and waiting for however long. I went over, and after checking it out, finding it to be in Great shape, brought my new toy home yesterday. I figure I can get Medicare to get me a better Scooter when this used one wears out. In the meantime, I'll be able to go to the market and other such silly things this week, not next year.

So I'm cruising through the parking lot at my apartment complex today. Hit a speed bump just the wrong way. Flipped me like a flapjack on the griddle. Didn't even have time to yell out "Oh Ș╫їT " on the way over. Dumped me half on, half off the curb. Couldn't get my hand out in time, so landed on my shoulder as I skidded along the curb/pavement. Feet came out of my shoes and they are now missing patches of skin, as well as a skinned knee worthy of any 4th grader. When I landed on my shoulder and skidded, I ended up with my arm behind me. The scooter partially on top of me. Upside-down turtle. 2 folks who saw me just after I'd made an @$$ of myself, came over and lifted the scooter off of me and helped me to my feet.

My foot hurts. My knee is screaming. My shoulder is sore, as is my back. The 13 year old skateboarder that I watch nights, has been laughing himself silly at me for the past couple of hours. I'm always bugging him to wear a helmet, knee and elbow pads...

Guess the price of the scooter may include a trip to a bike shop for a helmet...

Steve