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The Chip Board Archive 23

grin NCR ~ Wednesday Humor, December 31st (Mature)

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Dragnet, a very perspicacious gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent this one on
the subject of dining out...

The Spoon - A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, Steve's Place, and noticed that
the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed
that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the
staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all
of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was
the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately
3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the
number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.

He said, "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra
trip to get it right now...'

I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around,
I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you
have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting
firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string
to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the
need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Don't order the soup!
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Copyright 2022 David Spragg