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The Chip Board Archive 23

grin NCR ~ Tuesday Humor, December 30th...

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Dragnet, a very perspicacious gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent this one about
the differences in high school through the years...

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2014

HOW TRUE, HOW TRUE: My, how times have changed over the years... You should know
that by today's standards none of us was supposed to ever make it!

Scenario 1
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his
shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his
shotgun to show Jack.
2014 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his
truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2014 Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They
are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2014 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested
for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has
a disability.

Scenario 4
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his
belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes
a successful businessman..
2014 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse, Billy is removed to foster care and joins
a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused
herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock..
2014 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His
car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6
Pablo fails high school English.
1957 - Pablo goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2014 - Pablo's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining
that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. The ACLU files class action
lawsuit against the state school system and Pablo's English teacher. English is then banned
from core curriculum. Pablo is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a
living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model
airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.
2014 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic
terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents - and all siblings are removed from their home
and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never
allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his
teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2014 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in
State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

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Messages In This Thread

grin NCR ~ Tuesday Humor, December 30th...
Re: grin NCR ~ Tuesday Humor, December 30th...
grin Thank you...

Copyright 2017 David Spragg