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One of my favorite Halloween groaners...

A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night.

It's dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears:
BUMP... BUMP… BUMP... behind him.

He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming.

BUMP... BUMP… BUMP...

Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and
through the darkness, and he can just see an upright coffin.

No one seems to be holding the coffin; it's just bumping
down the street behind him.

The man is scared. He's sure it's following him! In an effort
to shake it off, he turns a corner. To his relief, the sound stops.
He keeps walking, but before a minute has passed, he hears
the familiar sound behind him again:

BUMP... BUMP… BUMP...

He is terrified! He starts to run towards his home, but the faster
he runs, the faster the coffin bounces along behind him!

Bumpity BUMP… Bumpity BUMP… Bumpity BUMP!

He pushes open his front gate, and runs up the path, fumbling for
his keys. The coffin reaches the gate and effortlessly pushes right
through. It's now right behind him!

Finally his shaking hands manage to unlock his front door. He has
no time to slam it behind him; the coffin is right on his heels! He
rushes up the stairs, praying the coffin cannot climb after him.

BUMP... BUMP… BUMP...

The coffin pauses at the bottom of the stairs. The man breathes a
sigh of relief but...

Clappity BUMP... Clappity BUMP... Clappity BUMP...

The coffin is now climbing the stairs behind him. He runs to the
bathroom thinking that perhaps he can lock himself in there! His
heart is pounding and his lungs ache with the exertion of running
for his life! He has only just latched the bathroom door when...

CRASH! The coffin breaks right through the bathroom door!

What can he do? The coffin is nearly upon him! He reaches out for
something heavy that he can throw at the coffin, but his hand only
comes to rest on a box of cough drops.

Desperately, he throws the cough drops as hard as he can at the coffin
and finally:
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(Wait for it)
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..
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...the coffin stops!
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Happy Halloween!