I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, and
turned it around, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"

I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today."

She said "OK."

I paid her for the things and left.

She had absolutely no clue to what had just happened.

Three

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping
on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she
was using the ATM thingy."

Keep shuddering!

Four

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker and now I can't get into my car. Pointing to a small
convenience store across the highway, she asked, "Do you think they
might have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it to me.

As it was on her key ring, I simply took the key and manually unlocked
the door.

I then said, "Maybe you should drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk..."

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!

Five

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.

One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out of typing paper. What do I do?"

"Just use paper from the photocopier," the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

Brunette, by the way!

Six

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her child to the emergency room. The kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the child some Benadryl and he should
be fine.

The mother says,"Well, I just gave him some ant killer..."

Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!"