A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication that you prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?'

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked,
NO REFILLS.

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son. Do your best and just remember, If it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife... "

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.

Two older guys, Mac and Ed, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart, when they collide.

Mac says to the Ed, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.

Ed replies, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

Mac says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?'"

Ed says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

To which Mac responds, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."