1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands
become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw,
when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being
watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong
number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were
late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in
now (works every time). It happens all the time to me....

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully
immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of
meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you
don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to
someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch
is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to
a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two
people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an
open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible
if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the
clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed
mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making
it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an
appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel
better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.