Remember when we used to tee off on lawyers around here? And folks who cleaned their chips? Latest target of dumb bells has become us union members. Mind if I kick the crosshairs over just a little to convention chip dealers?

I had a really great 2008 Convention and as always there was a lot of fun and satisfaction for me at the sales bourse. But, well, there was a few times I was gritting my teeth in bewilderment and frustration. Like the three or four times at that one table where I got suckered into leafing through that binder that promised, "Nevada E-G". Maybe you saw that one, had those Barona chips on the first page? San Diego is pretty close to Nevada and D for Dunes is not far from one of my areas, E for Ely.

In Real Life, I'm in awe of the hardy sorts that sell us chips at our conventions. Imagine humping hundreds and hundreds of pounds of these things around the country and unloading and transporting them onto the sales floor. Oooof! That's work! Then watching over the poxy things for several days with little relief and eating that special "Dealer Food". You know why there aren't any Billy Goats on the floor? The dealers are eating all the Billy Goat Chow, that's why. Doug Saito once had a list of requirements for anyone interested in becoming a chip dealer in one of his Chip Chat issues. Wasn't pretty reading, I'll tell you.

Still on the way home last year, I was puzzeled about how badly some dealers presented themselves and their merchandise at the convention. Tried to figure exactly what bugged me at various tables and how to bring it all up in a way that might be effective. In my work, I'm a stone cold expert and everyone else is an idiot. But somehow as I've gotten older, I will put my stubborness aside and give consideration to what others may see. I've actually made a couple of changes in my procedures and methods at work and you know what? I get more done and I do it more easily! Who'd a thunk it!! I remember a gripe here a few months ago about clearly marking prices. So anyway, secure in position of ignorance, here are some observations of mistakes and errors I see at dealer tables. Remember, I love you guys and you make the convention really work well for me but gee whiz...

• Binders

Perhaps it is time to retire some of your binders. Are they dirty, torn or beat up? Why would you keep using them if they are? Do you want to present yourself as BTS also? I know it costs money to keep your stock in new binders but you might just make it all back if you change out. I always head to Saito's table and he has fresh and clean binders everywhere. Nicely presented and clearly labled as well so it can be done. Those giant binders with the metal piano hinges are pretty cool if you've had your Wheaties for breakfast but they do need attention. Don't overload the things and inspect the hinges for wear.

Oh boy, I love it when I leaf through a binder and chips and flips start falling out of the upper pockets on the worn out plastic pages. Not. Since I do drive to Las Vegas, I might be packing a Leatherman Tool and sometimes the temptation is to whip it out and start using the plyers and knife features to pry some of the stuck chips out of the pockets that are holding chips captive I want. Stab stab stab tear tear tear. Oops.

Last day last year, walked past a table that had binders laying flat piled three high. MUst have been at least thirty binders on that table. Maybe that "one" chip I needed too. All I had to do was rearrange several hundred pounds of binders and perhaps I could have had a fine time browsing the dealers offerings. But did you ever consider that the buyers get worn out at the convention too and would do what I did to this seller...just keep walking.

• Customer Service I

Has this happened to you? You're standing there with several chips you are going to buy and no one is going to take your money. The dealer is talking to another dealer and they are looking into a grocery bag of chips. You pick up from the conversation that this bag O chips has been circulating among the dealers for several days now in hopes that someone would buy said bag. This dealer, your potential seller, knows all about it, knows the inventory of the bag and has formed an opinion as to the worth and potiential profit to be had and is imparting all this to the other dealer. Thanks for letting me stand there with my prizes and money-in-hand while you guys go over old business. Dealers, consider conducting business with other dealers before/after open doors or off site. At least keep an eye out for folks that would like to drop some $$$ in your hand. I don't mind just plain old gabbing as I will take your time up with that too. In fact, who hasn't had three conversations going at one time at some point during conventions.

Here's another one. Had two chips in my hand I wanted to buy. Each marked for sale at $100. $200 total and the price was typical convention pricing. But actually, I didn't expect to pay $200. I thought I'd get the usual "good guy" discount and pay a few dollars less. But. The dealer was talking to another dealer and there were two assistants taking care of everything else. "Final Jeopardy" theme music here. One assistant helps me out and relieves me of my two hundies. Thank you. If you won't let your helpers actually deal, perhaps you ought to have all the sales go through your hands. The feller you were talking to isn't going to replace the sales you lose by ignoring customers that may return if their nose isn't out of joint over a few dollars.

• Read The Rules

About the last day, I realised I hadn't used my incentive chip that gave $10 off any purchase. Selected a chip and paid as well as handing over the discount chip. The seller is listed in the Club mag every month where this perk was covered but he was flumoxed by the incentive chip. "Thanks" he says and hands me back his personal chip. Nice chip too, but I was really expecting a $10 dollar bill. The guy next to me explained what I'd attempted and everything was straightened out. But wake up and get on board with the program and avoid an awkward moment easily.

Sincerely hope that everyone will find something constructive here. I know how I like it when somebody from the Peanut Gallery starts tellin' me! Perhaps you might try some different menthods at the next few shows as practice for the Big Show and perhaps you'll find out like I did that hey, this works! Who knows maybe me and the other buyers may circulate back by your setup and buy another chip, we're having such a good time.

So if anyone has comment, bring it on, remember, I'm a teamster so you know I'm okay with walking around with a "Kick Me" sign. Add on or tell a story or two if you have one. In the end, the dealers really put the "Go" in the conventions so be somewhat respectful. OK? Here's a behind-the-scenes look from one of the Riviera catering deals. Bring on the South Point!