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The Chip Board Archive 18

NCR Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus

Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

October 17, 2008

FOXWORTH, MS—Despite obeying the posted speed limit and having all
inspection, registration, and insurance documentation up to date, Sen.
Barack Obama's campaign bus was stopped for nearly four hours by
Marion County deputy sheriff Dewey Clutter while en route to a
Jackson, MS speech, sources reported Tuesday.

According to those on board the bus—including various journalists,
members of the Secret Service, and Obama campaign staffers—several
minutes passed before Clutter exited his cruiser. Witness statements
all mention hearing the sheriff's jackbooted footsteps along the
gravel roadside as he slowly approached the vehicle's passenger side.
These reports also assert that, prior to reaching the front of the
campaign bus, the sheriff paused momentarily to smash the right rear
taillight of the bus before dragging his still-drawn baton along the
entire length of the vehicle.

"Where's the fire, son?" Clutter, 42, was overheard saying to the
Illinois senator and 2008 Democratic presidential nominee. "Driving
like that in these parts, what with a busted taillight and all, fella
like you liable to get hisself into a whole mess a trouble."

Obama protested briefly before Clutter interrupted the graduate of
Columbia University and Harvard Law School, brusquely informing the
senator that he could "detain [Obama's] uppity a** for 48 hours
without charging [him] with sh*t."

"Huh. Illinois," Clutter said while scrutinizing Obama's driver's
license from behind a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses. "You a long
way from home, ain't ya?"

"Now Barry, someone 'bout your height, 'bout your skin color knocked
over a Piggly Wiggly up in New Hebron just a coupla hours ago,"
Clutter continued. "But you wouldn't know nothin' 'bout that, now
would you?"

Clutter then turned to Obama's wife, Michelle, looked her up and down,
and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

After questioning the New York Times best-selling author and
presidential frontrunner for several minutes about his business in
Mississippi and politely asking the Caucasian women on the bus if they
were all right, Clutter claimed that he smelled marijuana smoke and
initiated a search.

According to Clutter's police report, the sheriff then ordered
everyone to exit the bus and to place their hands on the side of the
vehicle. Clutter then reentered the campaign bus, emerging a few
moments later with a stack of documents.

"Well, well, would you looky here. If it ain't Barry's comprehensive
plan for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq," said Clutter, setting the
proposal on fire with a lit cigarette while blowing smoke in Obama's
face. "Smart, well-dressed boy like you, I'd a-thought you'd take
better care of your things."

"Now ain't that a shame," Clutter added.

Following the search, witnesses said that Clutter allowed everyone
back onto the vehicle with the exception of the senator. Twenty
minutes later, a visibly agitated Obama climbed aboard the bus. He
reportedly refused to discuss what had happened, and instructed the
driver to continue on to Jackson.

According to Obama insiders, this is not the first time on the
campaign trail that the former president of the Harvard Law Review has
had to deal with this type of treatment. While attending a rally in
Savannah, GA, Obama was closely followed around the town hall by
several armed guards to ensure that he didn't steal anything, and the
senator reportedly had trouble canvassing voters in Baton Rouge, LA
after everyone he approached crossed to the opposite side of the
street.

"Sen. Obama has been incredibly patient and courageous during this
election," campaign chief of staff Jim Messina said while looking
nervously over his shoulder. "Despite some setbacks, we feel that
we've made incredible progress."

"It's a new day in America," Messina added.

Messages In This Thread

NCR Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus
WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY ?
Only If You Have A Sense Of Humor!
Incident never happened!!!
Of course not Don, it...
Re: Of course not Don, it...
Onion
Relax! It's A Joke!!
Little did the Sheriff know Obama shopped Piggly
Re: Little did the Sheriff know Obama shopped Pigg

Copyright 2022 David Spragg