The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties and forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?" replied the son.

"Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of willies are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" replied the daughter.

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
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