It was Postman Fred's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift check for $500.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an elegant box.

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they shared the most passionate love he had ever experienced. They then went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a giant breakfast, after which she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a five dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five dollars for?"

"Well," said the blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you and he said, Screw him. Give him five bucks."

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
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