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Dragnet, a very scholarly gentleman who lives southeast, sent this one...
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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful and loving couple." The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, That's once."

He continued: "We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, That's twice. We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I shouted at her, What's wrong with you, Woman? Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?? She looked at me, and quietly said, That's once.

And since that moment... We have lived happily every after."
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Note: This guy must have been married to Maxine...