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The Chip Board Archive 16

grin NCR · Monday Humor...

This was sent to me by Ellie Mae, a gracious lady from the Deep South...

South of the Mason/Dixon Line - Part I

Facts About the South

1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with Their feet in the air.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in THE SOUTH.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 Live in THE SOUTH plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

5. Onced and twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. Fixinto Is one word.

10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only Dinner and then there is supper.

11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you Start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

12. Backards and Forwards? Means "I know everything About you."

13. Jeet? Is actually a phrase meaning "Did you Eat?"

14. You don't have to wear a watch because it Doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

16. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to Go to the store "

17. All the festivals across the state are named After a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

18. You install security lights on your house and Garage and leave both unlocked.

19. You know what a "DAWG" is.

20. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.

21. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, tabasco and ketchup.

22. The local papers cover national and International news on one page but Require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

23. You think that the first day of deer season is a National holiday.

24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".

25. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

26. You know what southern state or whether a person Is from the north or south, as soon as they open their mouth.

27. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known As goin' Wal-martin? Or ?off to Wally World?

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70°) as good pinto-bean weather.

29. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a Coke, Regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda Coke you want?"

30. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

And the real difference between a Yankee Zoo and a Southern Zoo? On the cage, a Yankee Zoo will have the name of the animal and then the scientific name in Latin. Whereas, a Southern Zoo will have the name of the animal and the recipe...

Remember: Not EVERYONE can Be a Southerner, it's an art form and a gift from God!
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Messages In This Thread

grin NCR · Monday Humor...
Forget Mason and Dixon
Re: Forget Mason and Dixon

Copyright 2022 David Spragg