Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jack Daniels
(or Southern Comfort or Crown Royal, depending
on flavor preference)

- Sample the liquor to check quality.

- Take a large bowl, check the liquor again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

- Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

- Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again.

- At this point it's best to make sure the liquor is still OK, try another cup.. just in
case.

- Turn off the mixer thingy.

- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

- Pick the fr!gging fruit up off floor...

- Mix on the turner.

- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

- Sample the liquor to check for tonsisticity.

- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something... who giveshz a sh!t?

- Check the liquor.

- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

- Add one table.

- Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.

- Greash the oven.

- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

- Finish the bottle of liquor.

- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas!