...I can sing, but only one horrible, flat note...good for Death Metal, bad for show tunes

You'd actually make a good Ben Franklin (but for 1776, you'd need to sing & dance. We own the rights to both a musical and straight version of a show called "Ben" (written by a now-deceased friend), and I could see you doing that.
Now here's a challenge- see if you can find a copy of A View From the Bridge by Arthur Miller. Challenge 1- try and find the one act version, not the two act that they usually produce...
and
Challenge 2- in either case, in what role would director Mike cast you?????
If you do find the play, it should become obvious in the first couple of pages
MP