And BTW, Senor Pasternack, if I was the agent checking YOU in, you would be lucky to get away with just a mag lite inspection. I'd be calling for the 300lb guy with those big-ole latex gloves for a REAL inspection....up close and personal!

That would be my luck, Jerry (but ya gotta remember, Metal Mike never appears at the airports...it's always as Professor Mike who only needs to remove his dangerous Land's End blazer)...
But truth be told, I'd rather be screened by retired MOS than these TSA guys. The one time I did beep was right after 9/11...it was because I forgot to remove my wallet (courtesy shield)...and as soon as he saw that, he waved me right through...no wanding, pat-down, etc. I could've been carrying a MAC 10...
...appearances are everything to the untrained eye.
(guess we won't even get into the plastic "CIA letter openers")
What a world, what a world...
ciao, bro-
MP