Ellie Mae, a gracious lady from the deep south, sent this one...

I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment and I decided life would be more fun if I had a pet.

So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, I finally bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for it's house.

I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink.

So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down to the bar and have a beer?" But there was no answer.

This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?"

But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet. So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to a bar and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box:
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(Wait for it... its worth it!!!!)
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I heard you the first time! I'm putting my f___ing shoes on!