Bless the Irish

IRISH POKER GAME
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy
Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the
table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue
playing standing up. Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys,
someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?" They draw straws. Peter
Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet be gentle, don't
make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishman you'll ever meet. Discretion is
my middle name. Leave it to me." Peter goes over to Murphy's house and
knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Peter
declares: "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home"
"Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Peter. Irish Smiles
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PADDY'S PROMISE
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he couldn't find a
parking spot. Looking up to heaven he said: ''God, take pity on me. If you
find me a parking spot, I will go to mass every Sunday for the rest of me
life and give up me Irish whiskey.'' Miraculously, a parking spot appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said: ''Never mind, I found one.''
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An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
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Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and
announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the Money?"
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Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their
honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to Arrive?
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My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex
life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and
highlights of theirs?