I really like the last 3 If this has been posted before I missed it. I am still grinning from reading " the Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets. "

These are the laws of the natural universe:

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
Busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
Were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every
time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is universally
Proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle arrives last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
Boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chance of an open-faced jelly
sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what
You are talking about.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.