Subject: Beer

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

-- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.

Coincidence? I think not.

- H.L. Mencken

An intelligent man is sometimes

forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go

to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind ; is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,

but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

-- Dave Barry

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the

brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this

beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams

come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Babe Ruth

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.

-- W.C. Fields

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to

his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of

buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the

herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
weakest ones at the ba! ck that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a

whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps

improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much

the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the

slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kill

brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest

brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer

eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and

more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a
few beers.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a

"support group." Salvation in a can!

-- Leo Durocher