Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby...
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ...
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring...
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices...
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother...
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his/her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first...
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books...
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery...
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten - or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back...
Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ....
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home...
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her...
Somebody isn't a mother.

Happy Mothers' Day to all!