A couple have a dog who has a horrible snoring problem when it
sleeps.
The wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the
woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop
snoring.
"Yeah, right," she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the
dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it
carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring!
The woman is amazed! Later that night, her husband returns home drunk
from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins
snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So,
she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties
it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly. He wakes from his drunken stupor and
stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances
in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused
and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his
dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers,
"I don't know where we were, or what we did, but by God, we took first and
second place!"