- Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

- Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

- Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

- Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

-Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural United States thing. You would not understand, pal."

- Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

- Demand schools teach in English and Must have Day Care classrooms for your 14 year old child's children on high school property, paid for by Mexican real-estate taxes.

- Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

- Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.

- Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to le! gitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico. Try to marry a relative of Vicente Fox. That will get you more benefits.

- Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of time or soon dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world... Except right here... Land of the naive. WOW! OH NO ?

I have my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here! And I Love It = Skip