I recently heard this in a coffee shop. I thought it was worth sharing...I will leave out the Proper Names of the parties involved as it has no bearing on the story unless you knew them...SO,...

I will try and relate it as I heard it...

This is an old Cowboy speaking...a real Cowboy...not one of those that eats the urinal cakes to impress his girlfriend.

Witness,

You heard about the three sons that decided to move back to Wyoming and buy a ranch. They really had no idea what they were going to do when they got it bought. They bought the old Lazy K and decided to raise some cows.

Seein' as how you have to have a name for the spread they put their heads together and tried to come up with a new name for the Lazy K. They are of course idiots and can only come up with "The Ground That Has Cows Ranch." How in the hell would you put something like that on a brand?

Even as stupid as they were they realized that they needed something better. Anyway, they decided to write a letter to their Dad in Texas and ask him if he could come up with a fittin' name for the ranch. They did that.

Well, Dad got the letter. He thought long and hard about what to name the ranch. He was revered as an "Old Sage." He was respected in his area. A smart man, you see.

After several weeks, just to keep them in near bed wetting suspense he wrote them a long letter. He strung them on for page after page after page..He knew that the only reason they were reading all this was to see what he suggested as a name for the "Ground That Has Cows On It Ranch." Down at the end of this narrative that had run to near War and Peace Proportions, he stated that he was pretty well convinced that they should call their new spread the "Focus Ranch."

With that he signed off and sat back, quite satisfied with his effort. He then mixed himself a huge Bourbon and Branch. He sat back and reflected upon himself and realized in his own eyes he was indeed an "Old Sage." He was also quite secure in knowing that his IDIOT sons would call back and ask, "Dad, you "Old Sage" why did you think we should call the "Ground That Has Cows Ranch" the FOCUS Ranch?

So, being the "Old Sage" that he was, he was also correct in his assumption that it had been only four days since he had sent the huge narrative to his sons. The letter arrived and it pretty much said what he expected. His three IDIOT SONS were asking why he had suggested the name "FOCUS RANCH" for the "Ground That Has Cows On It Ranch?"

He was quite satisfied in his ability to predict human behavior. He was also, once again content with his reputation as an "Old Sage." He knew he had to answer them but he also knew that he had to keep them in near "bed wettin' suspense."

One evening, after a huge supper of Texas Fried Round Steak, Fried Potatoes, Eggs, and some tuna sandwiches as an appetizer he knew it was time to enlighten his "IDIOT SONS." So he began to write..

He rambled on and on about dim memories of his 70 odd years of life. He tried to justify almost everything he had done in his life, right or wrong. What he could not justify, he profusely and eloquently apologized for. He knew that as an "Old Sage" he was obligated to do so.

He told his sons about the "BIG WAR", the dirty 30's, and how to correctly eat a lobster. He wrote in detail about how he had courted and seduced their mother. He wrote about the finer points of the classic square dance. He even told them about how his uncle had shown him how to fold the four flaps on a cardboard box so that they interlocked and would stay firmly shut. He even enclosed a diagram of this feat so that they could learn how to do it themselves.

By this time it was nearly 3 AM and he had handwritten nearly 79 pages. He then went to the liquor cabinet and did something he hadn't done in nearly 33 years. He mixed himself another Bourbon and Branch(stiff) and sat down and reread his volume of regrets, recollections, and apologies for all these years.

After rereading this giant tome he once again took pen in hand and began to write his reasoning behind naming, the "Ground that has cows ranch", the FOCUS Ranch. He wanted it to be short and sweet, as they say in these parts. So, he kept it simple and just wrote:

Sons,

I guess your old Dad is pretty proud of you for gettin' a ranch and raising cows. And, I am pretty proud that you wanted me to name the spread. I am sure that the FOCUS Ranch will become as famous as the old Lazy K. As to the meaning of the FOCUS Ranch you just need to look in the dictionary.

Then he killed his Bourbon and Branch and turned in for the night.

The next day he took the Giant Tome and then checked his wallet and went to the UPS place and paid $13.08 and it was on it's way to his idiot sons.

Out in Wyoming(Near Horse Creek), the UPS truck drove into the driveway of the "Ground That Has Cows On It Ranch" and handed over the package. The three IDIOT sons knew that this package held the long awaited answer as to the new name of the ranch and what it meant. They carefully and cautiously opened the package. They began to read the huge volume that their father had written. When they got to the 80th page and saw that they still didn't have the answer because they didn't have a dictionary. They panicked!!! They jumped in the pick up, cussing their "OLD SAGE" dad and headed for Laramie to buy a dictionary.

They got their dictionary and they all jumped back into the pickup. They began to page for the "F's", and they finally found them. Then they found, "FOCUS" and finally got the answer to their perplexing problem.

Right there in front of them and boy did they feel dumb...Cause all it said was:

FOCUS...WHERE THE SUNS RAYS MEET...

A pun is the lowest form of humor...but Gosh, I like this one.

Have a good night...

Mark