I believe you hit the nail on the head with your "five knuckle shuffle" post. I think our friend Mel/bob is probably a semi-literate pimply-faced 14-year-old who stumbled onto this website when his hand got tired and he ran out of paint chips to snack on, and decided to have a little juvenile fun with some adults. (Wouldn't be surprised to find out that his parents are siblings.)

And I'll bet you're right about the fat fingers, too