Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever the hell comes out!"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there?.. I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns
the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
freezer?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a
radio out of coconut....why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of
Alphabet soup?

Why did you try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your a..?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?