A blonde came home one night to find her husband in bed with another woman. She ran to the night stand, pulled out a loaded pistol and pointed at her head. Her husband started to laugh. The blonde said: "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you buster. You're gonna be next."

A blonde's teenage daughter come home from school one day and told her mother that she was pregnant. Her mother asked: "Are you sure that it is yours?"