Saw this and couldn't resist posting it...

Are you tired of the mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but
never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem
that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself!

Friend, when you are sad, ... I will get drunk and help you plot revenge
against the butt head who made you sad.
When you are blue, ... I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you trip and fall, ... I will ask, "walk much?"
When you smile, ... I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared, ... I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to shut the heck up.
When you are confused, ... I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.
This is my oath, ... I pledge 'til the end.
Why you ask? Because you are my friend.

Send this poem to 10 of your closest friends (or else you will have bad
luck and go to hell, or at least North Dakota) and get depressed because
you realize you only have two friends and one of them is not speaking to
you right now anyway.

P.S. A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move
a body.