Subject: The Temperature of Hell
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>THE TEMPERATURE OF HELL
> The following is an actual answer given to a question in a University of
>Washington physics mid-term exam. The answer was so 'profound' that the
>Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure
>of enjoying it as well.
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>BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
>heat)?
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> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
>variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
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> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
>leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
>it will not leave - therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
>are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the
>world today.
> Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
>religions and since
>people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
>souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
>number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
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> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, since
>Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell
>to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This
>gives two possibilities:
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>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
>breaks loose.
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>2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
>souls in Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
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> So, which is it?
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>If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Andrea Banyan during my
>Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
>you," and take into account the fact that I still have not had sexual
>relations with her, then, 2. cannot be true.
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>Thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and cannot freeze.
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>The student received the only "A" grade given.
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>Hope this expands your scientific (or theological) knowledge.
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