Pilot: Radar, November424x
Radar : November424x, go ahead,
Pilot : Radar, I don't seem to be making much progress here. How much is my groundspeed ?
Radar : Well, all depends. If you are a hang glider, you are doing very well.....

'Atlanta tower, United123 is with you'
'United123, you are cleared to land on 27 right'
'Atlanta tower, Delta765'
'Delta765, you are cleared to land on 9 left'
After a pause to digest this, we hear...
'Uh...Atlanta, I think you have that United flight and us coming into the same runway in opposite directions ?'
Another pause...
'Y'all be carefull now, y'hear...?'

A true story, When a Cessna 152 pilot was asked to report his height prior clearance to enter the zone, he replied : 'Flight level three thousand, seven hunderd', upon which the Controller very smartly replied, 'Roger, prepare to fire retro-rockets and re-enter the atmosphere !'

Sorry for this but it is very quite here at work at the moment and these are going round again...

Have a safe flight....

Kind regards,
Bob R-4479 Belgium (like JB says counting very fez planes at the moment...)