THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD
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>Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you."
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>Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra,some
>are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are there
>to applaud. Know who and where you are.
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>Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
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>When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
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>Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
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>Never refuse a breath mint when offered.
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>You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
>should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
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>If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.
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>The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I
>apologize" and "You are right".
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>Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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>When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow
>while it's still warm.
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>I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year
>from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
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>Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
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>If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
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>Living as well as you can really is the best revenge. Being miserable
>because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person
>was right about you.
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>Work is good but it's not that important.
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>Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.
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>And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means
>you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
>
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>My best wishes for a most happy and health 2001! Carpe diem.